The renunciation of the
self that is expected of women in the community described in this text is implicit. The main
speaker never tells the girl she speaks to that the girl is expected to be self-sacrificing: it
is implied by the way the speaker addresses the girl, as well as by so many of the directives
she offers. The main speaker rarely allows the girl to get a word in edgewise and barely
acknowledges whatever the girl says to her, if at all. It is as though the narration nearly
erases the girl's voice totally. Further, the main speaker shows the girl things like how to
"iron [her] father's khaki shirt so that it doesn't have a crease," as well as how to
"iron [her] father's khaki pants so that they don't have a crease." Instructions like
these make it clear that the girl is there to serve the man in her life: as she is still young,
this man is her father. Even directions regarding how to "smile to someone you don't like
very much" and "how to smile to someone you don't like at all," show that, no
matter what, girls are expected to smile and be courteous, even when they strongly dislike the
other person. The girl's feelings toward the other person are relatively unimportant: she still
has to smile, regardless.
When the main speaker instructs the girl on how to
"love a man," she says, "and if this doesn't work there are other ways, and if
they don't work don't feel too bad about giving up." This is notable because the speaker
never describes the love the girl should expect from a manwhat she ought to
look for in terms of her own satisfaction, fulfillment, and even pleasure. This implies that her
satisfaction, fulfillment, and pleasure are unimportantnot even worthy enough to be mentioned.
Only the man's feelings are important here. This is another example of the self-sacrifice
required by women in this society.
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